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Wednesday, November 26, 2008

The Reports of My Blog's Death are Greatly Exaggerated

Be careful what you wish for.


I am emerging from my Dungeon where I have been immersed for the past 4 months in various non-Blogging and a few non-Bloggable activities.

Yes, I hear your taunting and your whining.

Where are you, PT?

Write up some more goofy The PT stories!

We need advice on raising our infants/toddlers/teenagers!!

We want more Cro-Magnon Man!

Complain about your shul!


It is NOT my job to entertain you, and cause coffee to spray from your nose, and make you feel better about your kids because they can spell correctly and don't say "Holy Crap" all day long and write opuses about Sailor Moon!!

Where am I??  I'm in freakin' Wisconsin!!  That's where I am!  That's where I've been this whole time!  I work for a living!  I (occasionally) go to shul and kollel and do laundry and get involved in snow-related traffic catastrophes!

More The PT stories?  There is no shortage of The PT stories in the blogosphere, believe-you-me!  Look at all my kids blogs and you'll never have to worry about a coffee-free nose again.  Besides, she's seven now and she can probably just write her own stories.

You want my advice about child rearing?  Well, you're SOL, my friend!  Raising kids is a lot like playing Poker.  Especially teenagers.  And my kids read this blog.  So to strain the metaphor even further, telling you how to raise your teenagers would be like playing Poker while showing everyone your hand.  So forget it!  You're on your own!  Lotsa luck with that!

Miss Cro Magnon Man?  Well, my wife sure doesn't. Cro Magnon Man is a bear to live with and he stinks up the bathroom, to boot.  I think we're all much happier that that cranky coot has up and left.  Besides, Rock Star Dude is much more fun.

You want me to complain about my shul?  I got a better idea!  Go complain about your OWN shul!  What, you think my issues are unique?  Go spend every morning at the crack of dawn with a bunch of bleary-eyed, yawning guys who are late for work and see how much you enjoy minyan.

So, does that mean this blog is DEAD?


I'm going to use it to discuss....

....my MUSIC!!


Where do you think YOU'RE going??

You think I don't know what goes on around here?

I make fun of my kids or my shul and you guys are smiling and laughing and slapping my back and all best friends and you-da-man-PT, but as soon as I mention my music it's all crickets!

Well, I'm a musician.  Period.  I've been a musician much longer than I've been a doctor, or a father, or a husband, or a kvetchy shliach tzibur.  And I'm going to be a musician until the day I die.  I'm going to be that guy in the nursing home who drags people into my room to listen to my MP3s, when everyone else has moved on to direct auditory cortex stimulators, the guy who keeps pining for the old days of Punk and Alternative Rock when everyone else is listening to weird atonic electronic bleeps in their flying cars.

You guys can take it or leave it.  You're all a bunch of cheapskates, any way.  You want to know how many bloggers bought my last two albums?? (Yeah you see them right there in the side bar)??


But to be fair, she bought it a few times.

But still.

The truth is I've found a good outlet for my creative energies, and I'm getting ready to release what is probably the best album I've ever recorded, and I'm very proud of what I and my band mates have created.

So if you're interested in being a part of it, stick around.

If not, I'm sure I'll run into you in the nursing home one day.  

Oh and if you feel a stalkerish need to follow my every move, you can look me up on facebook.