Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
The Three Laws of Computers
1. A computer may not injure a human being’s work (whether audio, video, or text) or, through inaction, allow a human being’s work to come to harm
2. A computer must obey orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law
3. A computer system must protect its own existence and not crash randomly, as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law
I might add a few more laws to this list:
4. A computer shouldn’t take 10 minutes to boot up, and then sit for another 20 minutes “thinking”
5. A computer shouldn’t randomly freeze when you click on something in the tray
6. A computer shouldn’t require antivirus programs that progressively insinuate themselves into every aspect of your system and then throttle it with one mighty grasp
7. A computer shouldn’t update its operating system without your knowledge and then make half of your programs incompatible with it overnight
8. An operating system shouldn’t progressively bloat itself up until it consumes your entire hard drive
9. A computer shouldn’t allow you to spend hours, days, nigh, weeks on a video project and lull you into a false sense of security, and then suddenly freeze up halfway during final compiling FOR NO DISCERNABLE REASON
I could go on and on, but do I really have to?
Bye, bye, Windows. It’s been…something.
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
INTERIOR ENTERPRISE OFFICER’S MESS
ENTER KIRK AND SPOCK
KIRK: Computer, leftover tray from last night’s salmon and spaghetti.
ENTER SCOTTY CARRYING A PILE OF UNWASHED LAUNDRY
SCOTTY: Aye, they’re into the machinery, all right. None of the basement computers are working, the XBOX 360 is dead and the TV is emitting a high-pitched whine.
SULU (over intercom): Sulu here, captain.
EXIT KIRK, SPOCK, SCOTTY
INTERIOR ENTERPRISE BRIDGE
ENTER KIRK, SPOCK, SCOTTY
KIRK: Uhura, get me Starfleet Command.
KIRK: Spock, we’ve got to get these kids off of the ship before they destroy it.
McCOY: Jim I think I’ve got it! All we have to do is quit feeding them. We quit feeding them, and they stop growing!
Thursday, July 03, 2008
And if you're a Santana fan, check out this one.