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Friday, April 18, 2008

Shlock Rock DVD

The Shlock Rock DVD is finally here and it makes a great Afikoman present!

My favorite part: The "bonus" feature containing footage from live shows and some of Lenny's many TV interviews. Look carefully for a bit where Lenny is interviewed by Captain Amazing.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Nuthing Lik a Beepur!

You loyal PT readers know that I like nothing better than genre fiction! Wuat? You don't?? What's that you say? XBOX and DVDs? That's ridiculous! No, I like to read and write books!

So I'm expanding my writing into a new genre, which I will label "The PT Grafik Novuls". Here's my first effort, based on the best-selling hit "Nuthing Lik a Famule." For other entries in this field, see "Nuthing Lik a Dat" and "Nuthing Lik a Vampir."

Nuthing Lik a Beepur



(grat buk!)


This book belogs to



In the morning, I anser my pajur

My wife dosin’t lic to, not vare

My kids slep late

I tak a showur and forget to trn off my beepur

My wife gets mad


War...AAA...my payshunt is

(where is my patient?)

Oh, uh “where is my patient”

er...where IS my patient?

In raydiolojee, that is war he is


(what’s going on on this page?)

(he’s waiting for the elevator)


(how about this page?)

(same page)

(who’s in the restraints?)

(the alcohol withdrawal patient)

(they put the withdrawal patients in restraints?)

(yeah, the nurses like to put them in there)

(who’s the guy with the tie?)

(that’s the hospital administrator)


AAA! (looking at hospital list)

Dont Wry! You hav to see thm all today!


(ah, there he is reading the charts)

(what are all those things hanging from the IV poles)

(it’s like thingies that hang from the IV poles)

(are they antibiotics?)

(no, look this gives you a hint. Can you guess)

(it’s covered in foil? Is it nitroprusside)

(No. See, all these gives you a hint)

(Is he in the ICU?)



Hmm! >:-(


Wut cind uv consult is this!?

(illegible handwriting!)



You didn’t write a good note


(Boy, are you gonna leave the hospital? Are you going to eat a kit kat in the doctor’s lounge? No, I think I’m going to go answer my pager…)


(what’s happening in this picture?)

(dreaming…doo doo doo)

(what’s he dreaming about?)

(page page page page…he’s dreaming he’s getting paged all night by the ER…oh wait…he IS getting paged all night by the ER)


Wi do I cep getting payjed!!

(because you’re on call)


Hmmm mm mabe yor pages are good

FFF for “forgot to call for refill during the week”

D for drug-seeker


Pashunts are mor importint

Evere uther day!


The End!

(doo doooo doodoo doodoo doo)

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Doctor Bean VS The PT


Me: Hello?

Doctor Bean: Mark? Hi, it's Doctor Bean calling. Look, I'm just calling to make sure you're OK, because you haven't posted in 13 days, and

The PT: HELLO???

Me: Hang up, The PT.

DB: The PT?

The PT: (stunned silence)

DB: The PT? Hello? Are you there?

The PT: (raises eyebrows)

DB: Are you still on the phone?

The PT: Yes...

DB: It's me, Doctor Bean. Do you remember me?

The PT:

DB: Yes, well...er...I came to visit you...last year...from California...or rather I came to visit your parents...

The PT:

DB: ...and then a year before that they flew to California to visit us? And maybe you stayed with your grandparents? Do you remember?

The PT: No.

DB: Oh, well, you were pretty young. Do you still have your cast?

The PT: No.

DB: Oh, um, that's good.

The PT: Do you know what I have in my hand?

DB: No, what?

The PT: An eyeball.

DB: ...really...and do you still have two eyeballs in your head?

The PT: Yes.

DB: Well, then that's OK.