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Wednesday, July 09, 2008

I, Mac




The Three Laws of Computers

1. A computer may not injure a human being’s work (whether audio, video, or text) or, through inaction, allow a human being’s work to come to harm

2. A computer must obey orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law

3. A computer system must protect its own existence and not crash randomly, as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law

I might add a few more laws to this list:

4. A computer shouldn’t take 10 minutes to boot up, and then sit for another 20 minutes “thinking”

5. A computer shouldn’t randomly freeze when you click on something in the tray

6. A computer shouldn’t require antivirus programs that progressively insinuate themselves into every aspect of your system and then throttle it with one mighty grasp

7. A computer shouldn’t update its operating system without your knowledge and then make half of your programs incompatible with it overnight

8. An operating system shouldn’t progressively bloat itself up until it consumes your entire hard drive

9. A computer shouldn’t allow you to spend hours, days, nigh, weeks on a video project and lull you into a false sense of security, and then suddenly freeze up halfway during final compiling FOR NO DISCERNABLE REASON

I could go on and on, but do I really have to?

Bye, bye, Windows. It’s been…something.

21 comments:

REReader said...

You are now in the power of Steve Jobs. You can never escape.

On the plus side, you won't want to! Welcome to the Macverse.

Rafiki said...

You should be careful. Your old computers might try to kidnap the new macintosh, like Strong Bads'.

tnspr569 said...

Another consumer completes the transition to the dark side.

Anonymous said...

Would Susan Calvin really approve of Macs? Because that would clinch it for me...

~ Sarah ~ said...

yay! another person for team mac!!! :)

Miriam L said...

You could have come over and joined the Linux crowd. We don't byte.

Jack said...

I use both PCs and Macs. Not impressed with the software for the Mac.

Holy Hyrax said...

Word is Ezzie is looking around for a Mac.

You didn't hear this from me.

PsychoToddler said...

This is actually my fourth flirtation with Apple:

1. circa 1984 - Apple IIe - they had this at the YU library and it was pretty much the only way to type up my papers. Not terribly impressive, to say the least. DOS was a step up.

2. 1988 - Einstein - I was doing research on auditory brain stem responses and we had a row of original Macs- the little boxes with the grey screens. I was totally fascinated by them. Mainly because they had WYSIWYG word processors and were hooked up to a laser printer. I typed up a whole manual for the department and printed it! Can't tell you what the research was about anymore, but the desktop publishing was fun!

3. 1994 - My office - I joined my first practice and one of the senior partners was developing a computerized medical record system based on 4th Dimension. He got me signed on as a beta tester and I got a free PowerPC 60 Mhz model with 8 Mb RAM. The performance was about as impressive as that sounds. Constantly grinding to virtual memory, the thing was a slug compared to my 486 at home. Not impressive at all. I eventually brought it home and the kids used it to play Links. To this day, the phrase, "it's in the rough" has a special place in our home.

This new iMac is legions ahead of the others--and PCs too.

the apple said...

The iMac is also amazing for when you want to watch a movie: big beautiful shiny screen. We had a weird situation with ours, though - anytime someone clicked the right shift key all the windows would disappear.

Holy Hyrax said...

>Anytime someone clicked the right shift key all the windows would disappear.

Yes, its called the 'expose' feature. you can change it in the system preferences. I think its one of the best features.

Jewish Blogmeister said...

Can we dub you "MAC MAN"?

Erachet said...

The iMac is also amazing for when you want to watch a movie: big beautiful shiny screen.

But it doesn't have very good volume levels!

PsychoToddler said...

But it doesn't have very good volume levels!

I will agree with that! You need an external speaker to get better volume control. Down here in the dungeon I have a studio amp and monitors.

the apple said...

No, no, not true - Erachet, you're talking about a Macbook - the iMac is much better.

the apple said...

Yes, its called the 'expose' feature. you can change it in the system preferences. I think its one of the best features.

Maybe, but it's also annoying as hell when trying to gchat :).

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wanderer said...

iPod last year.

iMac today.

iPhone next week.

The force is strong with this one...

Congrats! You'll never look back!

PsychoToddler said...

Yes, but which side, which side?

Easier, more seductive, the dark side is.

tnspr569 said...

jack- we all know that you're too cool to use a mac. for the rest of us, there's apple.

aoc gold said...

THE WIND

(Part I)

Who has seen the wind?

Neither I nor you;

But when the leaves hang trembling,

The wind is passing through.

(Part II)

Who has seen the wind?

Neither you nor I;
But when the trees bow down their heads,

The wind is passing by.

~by wow powerleveling