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Friday, June 20, 2008

A Cold One

The scene: 11:30 PM. A parched, fatigued, achy Psychotoddler stumbles through the back door, carrying two guitars, after a grueling 9 hour wedding gig. Finally making his way into the foyer, he drops the guitars, hangs up his jacket and makes his way into the kitchen.

PT: Ho man, that gig was BRUTAL!

Fudge (on the couch checking emails): Uh-oh. Er...hi Abba...is it shlepping time?

PT: No. No. No...more...shlepping... I'm leaving it all in the van. I have another gig Sunday and I'm not bringing all those speakers and poles and amps and stands in again. My back is KILLING me! (moves to kitchen)

Curly: Oh hey, Abba, how was your gig?

PT: Good, but I'm totally parched. There wasn't much water for the band and I was shvitzing like an old man in a sauna. I need a cold one. (opens fridge). What the--! NO COLD ONES?? Curly, go check the downstairs fridge.

Curly (returning): Sorry Abba, no cold ones downstairs. I see one in the pantry though.

PT: Is it cold?

Curly: No. It's in the pantry.
PT: Then it is scarcely an adequate replacement.

Curly: Lemme look in the fridge again. How about some steak sauce? It's cold.

PT: I don't think I should drink that. Grrrr....I guess I'll have to drink this warm Kiwi/Strawberry Snapple.

Curly: Um, that's Mom's. I don't think she wants you to drink that.

PT: She should have thought of that before she didn't put any cold ones in the refrigerator.

some time later

Curly: How was your Snapple?

PT: As it turns out, the ideal conditions for drinking Snapple include it being cold on its own. Watering it down with ice doesn't do the trick.

Curly: Better luck next time, Abba.


Miriam L said...

Rock on, dude. I thought the groupies rush the stage and bring you drinks while the toss your sweaty shmata to the crowd.

PsychoToddler said...

Memo to self: toss sweaty shmatas

Doctor Bean said...

But you can't send a memo to yourself because you don't have a PDA that synchs with outlook. You gotta send a memo to yourself to get a smartphone and then you'll be able to memo yourself very effectively.

aoc gold said...

What Does The Bee Do?
What does the bee do?

Bring home honey.

And what does Father do?

Bring home money.

And what does Mother do?

Lay out the money.

And what does baby do?

Eat up the honey.

--------- by Age Of Conan gold