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Thursday, April 10, 2008

Doctor Bean VS The PT


Me: Hello?

Doctor Bean: Mark? Hi, it's Doctor Bean calling. Look, I'm just calling to make sure you're OK, because you haven't posted in 13 days, and

The PT: HELLO???

Me: Hang up, The PT.

DB: The PT?

The PT: (stunned silence)

DB: The PT? Hello? Are you there?

The PT: (raises eyebrows)

DB: Are you still on the phone?

The PT: Yes...

DB: It's me, Doctor Bean. Do you remember me?

The PT:

DB: Yes, well...er...I came to visit you...last year...from California...or rather I came to visit your parents...

The PT:

DB: ...and then a year before that they flew to California to visit us? And maybe you stayed with your grandparents? Do you remember?

The PT: No.

DB: Oh, well, you were pretty young. Do you still have your cast?

The PT: No.

DB: Oh, um, that's good.

The PT: Do you know what I have in my hand?

DB: No, what?

The PT: An eyeball.

DB: ...really...and do you still have two eyeballs in your head?

The PT: Yes.

DB: Well, then that's OK.


the apple said...


Why do you let this very interesting child have access to telephones??

Because it provides good blog material, duh.

There, I just answered my own question.

Doctor Bean said...

Oh! I didn't get the eyebrow raise over the phone. The conversation makes much more sense now. I predict she'll end up working for a doctors' answering service.

Baila said...

but you still have not answered why 13 days have gone by without a post...

cruisin-mom said...

Dr. Bean, I've always said you have a way with the women.

Perel said...

dr. bean, don't feel bad. i have not had a successful phone convo with the pt to date, and it's not for lack of opportunity, either. for instance, the following is my mother's attempt to hand-feed the pt her lines:

ring, ring.
mom: hello?
me: hi mom. i'd like to talk to you right away about --
pt: um, HI! I'm on the phone!
me: hi the pt.
mom: say hi to perel!
me: well anyway, mom--
the pt: HELLO!
mom: do you want to talk to perel, the pt?
me: mom, can you two have it out on your own time? i really need to talk about something with you.
mom: ask perel if she ate breakfast.
me: WHAT?
mom: go on, ask perel if she ate breakfast.
the pt:
mom: do you want to talk to perel?
the pt:
me: this isn't worth it. i'll see you guys on pesach.
the pt: OKAY! BYE!
mom: are you sure you don't want to ask perel what she--
the pt: click.
mom: reverse psychology. every time. now what did you want to talk about?
me: i forgot.

torontopearl said...

Very funny. It might even rank slightly funnier if the PT indeed were to have taken a phone message from Dr. Bean and relayed that phone message to her abba.

(Hi, Dr. Bean; hope you guys are all well...have a good Pesach!)

PsychoToddler said...

That would be pretty funny. I have teenagers who can't even do that.

Doctor Bean said...

Cruisin: You big flirt. I miss you.

Torontopearl: We're all well. Hope you and yours are too.

Happy Pesach to all.