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Monday, November 12, 2007

Fun With the SupportBot



Ask RoxAnn

Have a Question? Asking RoxAnn is the quickest, easiest way to solve the most common technical issues.

>Click to Ask<


Welcome to Roxio Customer Care.

You said:
Easy Media Creator doesn't launch

Our answer is:
The new Roxio Easy Media Creator 10 gives you creative inspiration and all the tools you need to enhance your digital lifestyle. Create, share and enjoy your movies, memories and music as only you can. Visit the Overview Page for more information.

If you need technical help with Easy Media Creator, please ask me again and be as specific about the problem as you can.

You said:
Easy Media Creator 10 doesn't launch

Our answer is:
I see you have a question about Creator. Are you asking about:

1.Product information?
2.A technical question about Easy Media or CD Creator?

You said:
A technical question about Easy Media or CD Creator

Our answer is:
If you are having technical issues, please ask me again and be as specific about the problem as you can.
You said:
The program doesn't start

Our answer is:
I see you have a question about Roxio software.

Are you asking about:

1.Purchasing Roxio software?
2.A problem with Roxio software?

You said:
A problem with Roxio software

Our answer is:
If you are having a problem with Roxio software, please ask me again and be as specific about the problem as you can.

You said:
WHY doesn't Roxio Easy Media Creator 10 start?

Our answer is:
I see you have a question about Roxio.

Are you asking about:
1.More information about Roxio?
2.How to contact Roxio?

You said:
This program doesn't work at all

Our answer is:
I'm sorry I can't answer you at this time - please try rephrasing.

You said:
I hate you.

Our answer is:
Unfortunately, I still didn't understand you. If your question is of a technical nature, please state it as specifically as you can, being sure to include the product name and the version number.

You said:
I had cheerios for breakfast. What did you eat?

Our answer is:
I am designed to answer questions one sentence at a time, could you please try rephrasing?

You said:
Did you eat cheerios for breakfast?

Our answer is:
It seems you haven't been getting the answers you need. So, that I can connect you with the right solution, please click on the link below that is most closely related to the topic you are seeking help on:
1. Technical Support Questions
2. Customer Service Questions
3. Sales Questions

You said:
If a piece of software is installed on a computer, but it never works, was it really installed?

Our answer is:
The following steps will completely remove any Roxio and Sonic software from your computer. Remove any Roxio and Sonic programs from Add or Remove Programs or use the Windows Installer Clean Up Utility if you receive a certificate file error while trying to remove the Roxio program. (Directions below) Follow[...to see more, please view the page I have opened in your browser]

You said:
Now we're getting somewhere!

15 comments:

Shifra said...

RrrrrrroxAnn you don't have to put on the red light...
(Sorry, couldn't resist)

Those bots can be pretty annoying -but I do like her hair - my sheitel was supposed to look like that (only darker) but never does...

OK I'm off topic but I'll all doped up on cold medicine so you'll have to excuse me.

Did YOU have cheerios for breakfast?

Miriam L said...

Wait till you ask her the meaning of life....

REReader said...

The last time I tried one of those things, I ended up calling their customer service line and snarling incoherently at the musak. Of course, if all customers with problems end up insane, the company has no problems...

PsychoToddler said...

You said:
What is the answer to the question of life, the universe, and everything?

Our answer is:
Well, you tell me what you would like to talk about.

You said:
You know, the great question, life, the universe...everything?

Our answer is:
Cool.

Halfnutcase said...

at least she doean't have the conversational algorithms of old text games... you could have some rather amusing conversations with those.

"what? in the middle of the day?"

day

"a fine thing it is don't you think? helps our organize your activities and everything"

activities

"what sort of person do you think I am to think of doing such things?!"

(marginaly fictionalized, and segnificantly toned down)

Stubborn and Strong said...

unfouturntaly that what happen when robot replace human, please make sure robots won't rule the world. If the presidental campiagn was pain in neck, imagine if robots are running for president oh vey....

Steg (dos iz nit der šteg) said...

wow.

and i thought there was nothing more annoying than computerized call centers.

Doctor Bean said...

Boy, she's dumb. I wonder if that's not really her picture, even.

Halfnutcase said...

well, she's blond...

Eli said...

RoxAnn is clearly a strong contender for the Turing test.

Rafiki said...

how long did they spend on this thing? or better, how much money?

Baila said...

but what did you decide about your band name?

PsychoToddler said...

how long did they spend on this thing? or better, how much money?

The real question is, are the geniuses behind the RoxAnn bot the same ones who worked on the actual program. If so, it would explain much.

Shira Salamone said...

:)

PsychoToddler said...

You said:
get ye flask

Our answer is:
I see you have a question about purchasing Roxio products.

You said:
why can't I get ye flask?

Our answer is:
I see you have a question about purchasing Roxio products. Are you asking about:

1.How to purchase Roxio products?
2.A problem with your purchase?

You said:
cast "get" spell on ye flask

Our answer is:
I see you have a question about purchasing Roxio products. Are you asking about:

You said:
Attack Trogdor

Our answer is:
I'm sorry I can't answer you at this time - please try rephrasing.