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Tuesday, October 09, 2007

The Top 10 Reasons Why I Haven't Been Blogging

10. The Jewish Holidays

Do I really need to elaborate on this? Check the stats on your favorite J-Blogs and you'll see that Tishrei has not been kind to them. Add in the general trend of blogging around the work-week schedule and and it's small wonder that having half a week off, three weeks out of four, has played havoc with everyone's blogging.

In my case, also factor in the preparation for the holidays, the recovery from the holidays, and overall fatigue from getting up early for slichos and not being able to keep my eyes open much past 9 PM.

So I hope everyone had a healthy and a happy one, and now can we PLEASE return to normality??

9. Work

Being off for so many days means that I need to do that much more work the days that I'm in, which leads to totally packed clinics that start early, go through lunch, and end late. Blogging? What's that?

8. The kids have been home

Which is great and all but for many reasons it cuts down on my blogging. The primary issue is that they use all the computers, so my access to Blogger is quite limited at home. Unless I use the computer that our network lovingly designates as "abba", which, much like C-3P0 to Anakin Skywalker, is the little machine that I tinkered together in my days of youth and innocence, but whose relationship I now refuse to acknowledge, because it is obsolete and eccentric and has the annoying tendency to unceremoniously reboot itself while I'm in the middle of writing my most profound pos/////////////////////////////////////

DANG!! Where was I?! Man it's hard to keep a train of thought going through spontaneous reboots and ten minute restart cycles.

7. Facebook

Oh thank you Mr. Da Jew for inviting me to this enthralling internet experience known as facebook. Who thought up this thing? The Three Stooges? I spend hours a day logging on, getting poked, poking back, and getting poked again. And then people lob cows or pies or pirates at me and I'm supposed to be fascinated by this.

Look, I thought it was cool when fudge came home from college a few years back and showed me her facebook page and all her little friends from school who busily scribbled on her wall and joined clubs like "fudge's Mom is the most Awesomest" and stuff like that. Really, it's nice. And I kinda liked that it was restricted to college kids and that you were supposed to use your real name and that only people whom you really knew would have access to your profile.

But then they opened it up to everyone with an email address and now, correct me if I'm wrong, it's filled with middle-aged bloggers who use aliases (aliasi?) and have obscure Sesame Street characters as their screen icons while they cavort with the college girls. Ahem.

Anyway it seems a little creepy.

On the other hand, I did reconnect with an old college roommate who seems to know a lot of models.

6. The XBOX 360 is finally here!

Yes!! I pined and I pined! And I bought the washer and dryer! And then I got my kids to empty their little bank accounts and chip in on the beast! The 360 ROOLZ! Not that I have time to play it, what with all the blogging I'm supposed to be doing.

OK, there is this one game called Test Drive Unlimited, that's a cross between The Sims and Midnight Club, in which they model the entire island of Oahu and you get a virtual home and you buy cars and race them or just cruise around and enjoy the sights. And it's online so the other cars are sometimes real people from Sheboygan. And also you can shop for shoes. I'm serious!

5. My Musical Career

Haha just kidding. Actually I did play one gig over Sukkos and it was fun.

4. Heroes is back on TV

The best show on TV is back with all new episodes! And I have an HDTV in the basement! My wife and I are totally hooked on this, and I can exercise and spend quality time with her simultaneously. Besides Heroes, there's also Bionic Woman, which I'm having a hard time getting into, but as a child of the 70's I feel obligated to give it a chance. Plus it's by Battlestar Galactica producer David Eick, and Katee Sackhoff is in it, so there's potential. Maybe it'd be better if I watched from a Sleep Number bed. Purely by virtue of momentum, we've tried out Journeyman too, which seems to me like Quantum Leap minus Al.

3. Pinnacle Studio

I'll spare you all the technical details (because I know you won't read them), but my DVD authoring program, which I won't name (except to say that it's Roxio Easy Media Creator 7) suddenly decided to stop functioning, and no amount of defragging/uninstalling/reinstalling/patching would make it work again. And the only helpful advice I got from Roxio was "You can now purchase Easy Media Creator 10!" Uh, thanks, but no thanks. I'm not throwing good money after bad. So after some serious research (thank you, Google), I settled on Pinnacle's Studio software. Also the box looked pretty cool. And it comes with Green Screen. Literally. It comes with a big green screen. Like six by six. So you can eventually look forward to Youtube videos featuring the PT singing Ma Nishtana on the Moon while being stalked by a giant space cat.

Right now I'm focusing on transferring band performances to DVD (and going w i d e s c r e e n !) and putting together a compelling movie out of our 2 hours of Israel footage and some 800 odd pictures. Yeah, look for that real soon.

2. Blog fatigue

I think King Solomon said it best when he wrote, "there is nothing new under the Heavens...it is all futility." Was anyone else paying attention during the reading of Koheleth or is the theme of that thing, "life sucks, and then you die"?

Seriously, I think I've already said everything useful that I'm ever going to have to say, and anything else is pure nonsense. But hey, there's a market for that.

1. Self-censorship

Thank you, Anonymous Lurker, for coming up to me at that Bar Mitzvah the other night and DeLurking in front of my wife! She is now more convinced that ever that I give out too much personal information to total strangers on the internet and that we will one day come home to a completely different family stealing our identities, inhabiting our house, driving our cars, paying our kids' tuition, and writing our blogs. For all you know, I may already be an impostor.

Anyway, bottom line, more and more is becoming taboo. Sigh.

(Seriously, Anonymous Lurker, it was cool to meet you!)

Hey! Maybe I should make this into one of those...now what do they call them...oh! Memes! I guess I should...tag...some people...lessee...whom can I annoy...

I tag Ralphie, Stacey, and Mort the non-blogger!


fudge said...

'throwing good money after bad'? are you british? trouble at the mill!

well, i would have more fun with this, but it seems that you are occupied.

like poland.

PsychoToddler said...

Now I tag YOU!

myrtle star said...

being busy is no excuse not to blog - sleep less!! nah, seriously tho, I love your blog. I have been reading it for years, and enjoying it too. keep on blogging.

Baal Devarim said...

"Was anyone else paying attention during the reading of Koheleth or is the theme of that thing, "life sucks, and then you die"?

Yeah. "Life sucks, you suck, but then you die and it doesn't make any difference anyway." Depressing, isn't it?

Had any of your patients written a short screed along those lines I bet you would've recommended a potent cocktail of Paxil, Effexor, and Risperdal. But make it long enough, add some poetic imagery, and it gets included in the holy Canon! Smart guy, that Koheleth. ;-)

(Then again, according to tradition, he also managed to get an incredibly erotic, vivid, love-song included in the canon. How he pulled THAT off is a mystery, to me. Probably after reading Koheleth the Committee was convinced that nothing makes a difference anymore. Might as well have some fun with this thing.)

Jacob Da Jew said...

"Oh thank you Mr. Da Jew for inviting me to this enthralling internet experience known as facebook. Who thought up this thing? The Three Stooges? I spend hours a day logging on, getting poked, poking back, and getting poked again. And then people lob cows or pies or pirates at me and I'm supposed to be fascinated by this."


No more cows for you..you ate enough beef over Yom tov.

Jacob Da Jew said...

"Heroes" is so addictive!

I subscribe to Netflix and they allow 9 hours per month to watch stuff instantly over the Web.

I burned through that within 2 days watching episodes back to back.

Last night I upgraded my plan so I can continue watching unabated..

PsychoToddler said...

myrtle: thanks...er...you're not anonymously stalking me, right?

Baal: No kidding. I was actually thinking to myself, "Man, Shlomo could really have used some prozac or something." But hey, with 1000 wives, who wouldn't be depressed.

Jacob DJ: I may have to get into this Netflix thing. I've been meaning to get addicted to 24.

Jewish Blogmeister said...

Great post there Doc. I was hoping however you try something different and try a top 11.

Ralphie said...

I took the bait.

Stacey said...

Awww, it's good to be missed! (Uhh, you did miss me -- didn't you Markypoo?) LOL

I promise I will do the meme in the next few days (if I can remember my blog password).

Bkbuds said...

You haven't been blogging? I hadn't noticed. But then, I haven't been visiting. Oops.

Well, now I'm back ... and so are you. Yaaaay! (I don't know how to say "yaaay" in Hebrew or Yiddish, sorry).

Neil Harris said...

Yeah, I have a similar problem. People I run into lately say, "I like your blog". I should have stayed Anon.

~ Sarah ~ said...

i wouldn't know where to start with my top ten reasons (facebook, chagim etc would be included though) why i haven't been blogging. hope things start to return to normal now the chagim are over (for the next few months anyway).

yellojkt said...

Welcome back.

About creepy middle-aged guys with avatars on Facebook: I resemble that remark. These college kids don't have jobs yet (and if their potential employers can Google, they may never), but I don't need to let my boss catch me tossing sheep on company time.

Anonymous said...

Also of note among the new televison shows this fall is Chuck, which co-stars a nerdy Psychotoddler lookalike.

Jack's Shack said...

Bionic Woman, which I'm having a hard time getting into, but as a child of the 70's I feel obligated to give it a chance.

I feel your pain. Don't hold your breath waiting for Stacey- not going to happen. Kind of like cleveland winning the world series.

cruisin-mom said...

good to see you back P.T. (remember me?)

RaggedyMom said...


PsychoToddler said...

JB: Yeah, I had to cut the list down a little. There are other things, my exercise routine, my kids, paying attention to my wife, etc. But no one would believe those.

Ralphie: Yes, nice job.

Stacey: The correct spelling is Markipoo

Bkbuds: “You haven't been blogging? I hadn't noticed.”

OUCH. But who can keep track of you. Everytime you log on you have a new blog name. Anne. What Maternal Instinct. Inland Empress.

Neil: Well it beats strangers coming up to you and saying, “you’re a moron!!”

Sarah: Start with #10

Yellojkt: Hmm…so it’s OK to stalk college kids anonymously because you’re wasting the company’s time. Makes perfect sense.

Anonymous: “a nerdy Psychotoddler lookalike.” You mean Adam Baldwin? He totally rocks! Thanks!

Jack: I’m forwarding your comment to Stacey. The only think likely to get her going is the chance to annoy you.

CM: It was a close call between you and Stacey, but you started blogging again.

RM: Peewaukee. Seriously, you should never move here. It would be a traffic hazard.

PsychoToddler said...

BTW, RM, this is EXACTLY the sort of thing I'm talking about. You just referenced a comment you made on facebook about a post on the blog!

How are people supposed to keep up with that!

Sweettooth120 said...

Hey I got the spelling right on my blog. Woo Hoo!

PsychoToddler said...

No, there's no "e" in Markipoo.

Why is everyone calling me Markipoo? Are you guys on XBOX Live?

Miriam L said...

So that's what Facebook is. I'm on LinkedIn, but it's not as much fun. No cows.

PsychoToddler said...

I'm also on Linked In. It's downright boring.

fudge said...

i, on the other hand, am a level 19 pirate. avast ye hearties!

Steg (dos iz nit der šteg) said...

oh, excuses excuses. :-P

Sweettooth120 said...

What is xbox live? Man, I am way behind the times.

Jaime said...

Btw, Jaime Sommers changed my life. No really, because of her, I no longer was embarrased by my name and actually changed the spelling of my name to match hers. I got tired of being teased that I had a boy's name.

I also had excellent listening skills as a kid - if only I could have jumped high in the air and kicked ass like her.

PsychoToddler said...

Jaime: Oh, I always thought it was pronounced the Spanish way, Hymie. That IS a guy's name.

XBOX live is Microsoft's online gaming service, and my "gamertag" is Markipoo. There's a stupid story behind it but it's too convoluted to discuss here. It would cost me 10 bucks to change it.

rabbi neil fleischmann said...

Nice post. I love top ten lists. It's a good writing starter upper. Any time you feel you've said it all and the rest is nonsense just do a top ten list and you'll probably come up with a content filled post like this.

queeniesmom said...

Just think of all the money you would save if someone else started paying! How many video games, new toys does that equal?!

You know you've been out too many days whwn your students look up and say "oh, you're back!" Alkl the Yom Tovs just don't compute.

Wishing you and all of your family a terrific year! Sorry, meant to do that earlier but #10 and it's attending issues kinda got in the way.

PsychoToddler said...

Rabbi Neil: Oh, I have no trouble writing about nothing. It's writing about SOMEthing that gives me difficulty.

Queenie's Mom: Yes, truth be told I would welcome an identity thief who agreed to pay all my tuition bills.

roxiokara said...

hey psychotoddler- love your blog, and apparently a lot of other people do to!
i work for roxio and there are some issues that i might be able to help you resolve. if you want, i'm able to talk with you and work something out.
have a great weekend,
kara @ roxio

mort said...

Well, I got off my butt and finally have responded. In true Mort form, you can read my meme at the following address (if you do not already get the Mort report):