Car Salesman: Can I show you anything?
Psychotoddler: Uh, yeah. I was wondering if this car comes with one of those jacks to plug in an MP3 player?
Salesman: This one? Um…yes. Yes it does. Standard on this model.
PT: What about one of those voice-activated GPS navigation systems?
Salesman: Yes, that’s available. It’s optional.
Mrs. Balabusta: Not for my husband, it isn’t.
Mrs. B: He needs toys.
PT: Yes, toys.
Salesman: I see. You might want to look at this model over here. It’s the MLC trim level.
Mrs. B: MLC?
Salesman: Mid-Life-Crisis. Very popular with our 40-something buyers.
PT: Yeahyeah, let’s go.
Salesman: Ma'am, you might like to sit in the back.
PT: (in car) Wow…there sure are a lot of buttons…
Mrs. B: Is this a car or a Space Shuttle?
Salesman: You can take her out for a little cruise, if you’d like.
PT: Yeahyeah, me like.
Mrs. B: Did you get clearance from the tower for takeoff?
PT: Man, look at this radio…and the climate control…
Salesman: Yes, this model has all the options.
PT: What does this button do?
Salesman: Try it.
PT: What the---HOLY CR—there’s a woman in the seat next to me!
Salesman: Yes, that’s our “Auto Trophy-Wife” feature. Very popular with the 40- and 50-something buyers.
Mrs. B: “Auto Trophy-Wife”??
Salesman: That’s right. It seems a lot of our buyers felt that it wouldn’t be worthwhile to get the upgraded car if they didn’t have a hot woman to go along with it—no offense meant, Ma'am.
PT: She—it—sure looks real.
Salesman: Our technicians put a great deal of work into making her as realistic as possible. After-all, who wants to be seen driving around with what looks like a blow-up doll.
PT: Not me.
Auto Trophy-Wife: It’s too cold in here! Turn off the air conditioning!
ATW: Ugh! What are you LISTENING to?? Turn it to the Top 40 station!
PT: What’s going on?
Salesman: Hmm…well, the Auto Trophy-Wife is a new feature…
ATW: You’re going TOO FAST! You’re going to get a ticket!
PT: Hey, I’m not liking this!
Salesman: It’s possible that in their attempts to make her as realistic as possible…
ATW: You missed the turn back there! Do you EVEN KNOW WHERE YOU’RE GOING??
Salesman: …that they may have gone a little TOO far…
ATW: How close do you plan to get to THAT CAR....Did you remember to lock the front door....You need to pick up some milk...