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Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Torah Fumble


Baal Koreh: Vayishchat es ha-shur ve'es--

Old Man: Ha-SHOAR!!

Baal Koreh: --ha-ayil zevach...

John Madden: Whoa, I think he fumbled there!

Pat Summerall: But he's not stopping!

Baal Koreh: ...vayamtziu bnei Aharon...

Pat Summerall: To the 19...to the 20...to the 22...

John Madden: Now here's a guy...that sometimes when he makes a mistake...ehhhh...he just keeps on going...

Pat Summerall: ...to the 23....and it looks like he's made a third aliyah. Wait a minute...there's a flag on the play.

John Madden: Y'know, Pat, sometimes these calls are tricky. If-if-if-if he says the wrong word...then...sometimes that's a mistake. Let's take a look at the video tape.

Pat Summerall: No videotape, John, it's Shabbos.

John Madden: Oh yeah, right. Here comes the Rabbi with the call:

Rabbi: BAAL KOREH--PASUK YOOD TET--INCORRECT PRONUNCIATION. GO BACK--FIVE PSUKIM.

John Madden: That's gotta hurt.

15 comments:

Bob Miller said...

Bravo!

Miriam L said...

LOL. Kudos to you for being the Ba'al Koreh, even if you do fumble sometimes. (This is about you?)

SaraK said...

LOL...too funny

PsychoToddler said...

What? Me make a mistake? Don't be ridiculous. No, I was in the grandstands.

Ralphie said...

Genius.

Halfnutcase said...

I thought that his was why you where supposed to have two other people at the bima who knew the relevant laws and customs and had a chummash open so that they could check you and stop you if you made a mistake, or supply you with the trop or what-not if you choked.

Halfnutcase said...

and where did you get the picture of the shtreimel?

Anonymous said...

the rechnitzer rejects have a great bit about a ba'al koreh who has a stutter(ok, its not pc, but it's hilarious)

Noam

(when I used to lain as a teen, my father would sit in the back, and between aliyot he would make a motion with his hand and mouth 'liyat, liyat(slow, slow)'.)

PsychoToddler said...

where did you get the picture of the shtreimel?

Do a google image search for the term "shtreimel". The source may surprise you (hint: Not Jewish!)

Noam: You get bonus points for mentioning Rechnitzer Rejects.

Ari Kinsberg said...

1/2 nutcase:

"I thought that his was why you where supposed to have two other people at the bima who knew the relevant laws"

very often the people at the bimah don't really know the relevant laws or even enough hebrew (to say nothing of pisuk te'amim). there are mistakes that one does not have to go back for, while there are other seemingly inconsequential ones that (imho at least) one should be corrected for.

Shira Salamone said...

The worst leining error I ever heard in my life was by a guy who wasn't even leining--he was a High Holiday Chazzan (help heaven me) chanting one of the "sacrifice readings" as part of the Repetition of the Musaf Amidah (Chazarat haShatz?) on Rosh HaShanah. Are you sitting down, folks? "Ishah laShem." Yup, instead of "isheh laShem, a fire-offering for G-d," "*ishah* laShem, a *woman* for G-d." (!!!) I took him aside after the service and accused him of heresy. Yes, even an apikorus/heretic like me has her limits. When we had our post-Yamim Noraim Ritual Committee meeting, I was going to insist to the other committee members that we never to hire that guy again, but the rabbi beat me to it.

Steg (dos iz nit der šteg) said...

i've met some people who are incapable of distinguishing an O sound from a U sound before R. it's just part of their accent. don't ask them to distinguish MERRY, MARRY and MARY, either ;-)

Ari Kinsberg said...

steg:

apparently some ppl cant differentiate U and O after a D either (as in the famous hodu/hodo mistake many of us make)

Anonymous said...

a few more points and maybe I can get a toaster?

psachya said...

Funny - I thought I was the only whacko to hear sports announcers during laining. My analogy of choice, however, is baseball. On a really egregious mistake, I hear John Sterling: "IT is high...IT is far...IT...is GONE!!!" (What makes it weirder is that I'm not actually a Yankee fan...)