Powered by WebAds

Thursday, March 15, 2007

I Got a Lot on My Head

This one a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked
away... to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing.
Hmph.


I got a call from my Mother recently. It went like this:

Mom: Markie. What's wrong.

Me: Nothing. What are you talking about?

Mom: They are telling me you are losing your mind.

Me: What? Who is telling you this?

Mom: Who? Your wife. She says you never remember anything anymore. She has to tell you things over and over again. She said you forgot some appointment, and then when she told you, you said why didn't she email you.

Me: I have no memory of this.

Mom: Markie! Maybe you should see a doctor.

Me: I don't believe in doctors. They're all quacks.

Mom: But Perlie told me also that you have no memory. She said you start to say havdula, and you say kiddush instead.

Me: (quietly): Perel! (aloud) That only happened once!

Mom: Nu, so what is wrong with you. Why are you so forgetful. Maybe you need a doctor.

Me: I don't need a doctor. I've always been like this.

Mom: No, you were always very sharp. When you were two you remembered everything.

Me: I have more stuff rattling around in my head these days.

Mom: Well you know I am very forgetful so I worry that you will be forgetful.

Me: I'm fine. Don't worry about me. By the way, who is this?

Mom: MARKIE!

Well, maybe she has a little point. I do have a lot on my mind. I don't think it's so much a matter of being forgetful as it is that I'm constantly thinking of three or four things at once. People talk at me while I'm in the middle of something else. I don't like to multitask and yet it's all that I do. When I'm in minyan, I'm thinking about the patients in the hospital. When I'm in the hospital, I'm thinking about the clinic. When I'm in the clinic I'm thinking about my email, or the blog, or my next gig. I'm constantly juggling.

I think Yoda's description of Luke fits me well. I've always had my eye on the horizon. What's next. What do I want. Where would I rather be. Anywhere but where I am and what I'm doing.

To an extent it's good. It's how I got where I am now. I've always had a couple of pots to stir. But I may be running out of burners.

34 comments:

Anonymous said...

its the stress, i tell you....i also forget everything, because there is just to much you know. maybe we're all cracking up, but there is nothing to do but keep stirring the pots....

fudge said...

does this mean i can't live with her?

PsychoToddler said...

Live with whom?

Jack's Shack said...

Maybe you're just getting older.

Wickwire said...

You already blogged about this last week.

PsychoToddler said...

Nice.

torontopearl said...

They say one loses brain cells with each pregnancy. K"H, you have several children... Oh, wait a minute -- it's the WOMAN who loses the brain cells. So, then, what's your excuse, huh?

Truly, Mark, this happens lots of times to me; I think it's an aging thing (I am older than you), it's a sleep-deprivation thing, and it's just that you have so much on your plate to think about. I think we may also have developed an adult version of Attention Deficit Disorder...and not uncommon at all.

I'm lucky I got all my thoughts down; I often forget in mid-sentence what I was talking about in the first place.

tuesdaywishes said...

I think is most likely sleep deprivation. Your schedule could do most of us in. Another common cause of people being fuzzy-headed is swings in blood sugar, but I dare you to get THAT checked out. Or sleep apnea...zzz.

Miriam L said...

No one can be as sharp as they were at two. That's a very smart age.

PsychoToddler said...

I know. I feel like it's been nothing but downhill for the past 38 years.

Anonymous said...

Maybe less time on the computer would help us all????

outofAMMO said...

I've already started that.

yellojkt said...

My wife says she won't have any clue when I get Alzheimer's. I have too many symptoms already.

Doctor Bean said...

Sounds like it's time to set some limits, Steve.

PsychoToddler said...

Limits shlimits.

Jack's Shack said...

I just want to know if we can start calling you Markie.

tnspr569 said...

Don't worry, it's probably just your imagination. Besides, that's why we have electronic assistants- so we don't have to remember anything! :-P

PsychoToddler said...

I just want to know if we can start calling you Markie.

You do and I'll give you such a pinch.

PsychoToddler said...

I have too many symptoms already.

Perhaps that's my point.

RaggedyMom said...

Is it just me or do all Jewish (Polish?) parents start off a conversation by asking "What's wrong?" and then the rest of the conversation is a matter of reassuring them that nothing's wrong?!

I'm amazed that your mom's "What's wrong" radar is so powerful. And it's useful to know that even if I move far, far away to the tundra like you did, I won't be able to avoid those conversations!

PsychoToddler said...

The truth is that I usually blow off my own health issues and she usually zeros right in on them.

But then she blows off her own issues and I zero in on hers.

Now THAT'S Polish!

outofAMMO said...

and I get to live in peace.

Ralphie said...

I read about a guy who didn't want to live with Alzheimer's, which runs in his family. He said that he's going to bake a poison pie and put it in the fridge. The day he forgets that he baked it, he'll eat it and die. A delightful story.

cruisin-mom said...

Listen Markie...just wait til you hit your 50's

Ezzie said...

Great post...

You sure this is an age thing, and not a sign of the times? Serach tells me I'm the same way, and I'm 23. [So does my mom.]

Maybe we're all just juggling so much information thanks to this being... well, the information age. Just look at your computer screen - see how many different things you can click on at any given time, how many tabs/windows you have open. CNN & Fox roll like 18 different things across their screen around a small picture of their newscasters. It's just too much for anyone to handle at once.

You *could* still be forgetful - now you just can blame the rest of the world for it. :)

fudge said...

"anywhere but where i am and what i'm doing."

you know, i think this might be the natural state of people in general - we're always racing for the finish line. lately it seems like i live entirely to cross days off my calendar, with a sense of relief: ha, i'll never have to go through THAT wednesday again!

but there has to be some way to mitigate that feeling. i think it comes from not having enough slow time, not enough time to sit back and enjoy the castle instead of constantly defending your borders. (i never have been good at parables). i always thought that this was something you could define for yourself once you'd established your career- like you should have some ability to dictate the rules of your life. it seems from what you're saying that this isn't true...but maybe there's something you can do to create your own time and space? is there a trade off that's worth it?

maybe you should build a bathroom in the basement.

Jack's Shack said...


You do and I'll give you such a pinch.


Careful, you'll make Ezzie jealous. Of course two days from now he won't even remember this conversation. ;)

Ezzie said...

we're always racing for the finish line. lately it seems like i live entirely to cross days off my calendar, with a sense of relief: ha, i'll never have to go through THAT wednesday again!

but there has to be some way to mitigate that feeling. i think it comes from not having enough slow time


....you feel that a lot more in NYC. :(

Shira Salamone said...

Memory? Hmm, haven't had one of those in a good while. Oy.

Prescription: More sleep, less stress. (Now, if only one could actually fill a such a prescription . . . )

RaggedyMom said...

Lately I've been writing things down on a list to ease the stress of having to remember all of those details. Now where did my list go?

PsychoToddler said...

I have lists but I forget to check them.

Anonymous said...

in my family we call them senior moments or C.R.S. moments the C is for cannot the R is for remember and I cant remember what the S is for. Brad

Margareta said...

Leave out goyishe crap in your daily routines of reading, talking to etc. as much as you can. I am half convert (I converted but doesn't have jewish family or friends and so call community) I know burn out.

PsychoToddler said...

What do you mean by "goyishe crap"? You mean like my job?