Powered by WebAds

Saturday, June 17, 2006

My First Father's Day

A co-worker told me an old Irish proverb yesterday. He said you don't become a man until your father dies. I don't think I can agree with that. I can think of many occasions that might have marked my entry into manhood. My Bar-Mitzvah. My wedding day. The birth of my first child. Graduating Medical School. Buying my first new car. But my father's death...that diminishes me.

But I might be able to apply his proverb more readily to Father's Day. Despite being a father for more than seventeen years, I've never felt that I was the object of Father's Day. Father's Day was the day when I called my Dad, not the other way around. My wife or my kids might wish me a happy Father's Day, but frankly I never felt that it applied to me. But to my Dad, it was everything. He looked forward to it, and to the cards we would make for him. They're all still at the house.

So my role in Father's Day has always been more of a conduit. Channeling the accolades up the chain to my own father.

Except now he's gone. This is the first year I won't be wishing him a Happy Father's Day. And now, suddenly, I'm up on the top of the chain. There's no one above me. I'm the oldest living patriarch in this family. So I guess it's time to face the other way.

It's time to be a man.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

I saw this come up on http://www.israelforum.com/blog_home.php.

I know exactly how you feel about Father's Day this year. It's never quite the same.

cruisin-mom said...

beautiful post P.T.
Everything changes when your parent dies...not matter what your age.
Happy Father's day to you.

cruisin-mom said...

*no matter (oops)

kasamba said...

Everything during the first year is going to be a painful milestone.
May you find Nechama in your many wonderful memories.

Irina Tsukerman said...

Happy Father's Day!

Jack's Shack said...

Happy Father's day.

Cro Magnon Father said...

Cruisin Mother: What wrong with first comment?

Albert said...

Well said. Happy Father's day.

torontopearl said...

PT, happy father's day...and many more.

Stacey said...

I can imagine that today has been difficult for you. Hope your children made it special for you.

parcequilfaut said...

Happy Faddah's Day PT.

The Artist's father died when he was 11. His mother was trying to get him to come spend time with his stepdad yesterday and he had to tell her, firmly but politely, that he was spending his day with his Dad out where he is buried. We had some long talks about the subject of being a man this weekend in honor of the holiday....

Anyway hope it went well for you and the PT clan.

socialworker/frustrated mom said...

That is sad I hope you had a nice day though.

PsychoToddler said...

Thanks everyone. As you can see from the next post, I actually had a pretty good Father's Day.

Despite being on call.