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Thursday, December 29, 2005

Bah Chumbug!

Is it possible that I’m the only J-blogger who hasn’t written a post about Channuka? That’s hard to believe. Why haven’t I written something about it? There must be some good reasons.

4. I’m too busy. That’s a good reason. Although I’m busy all the time. I’m not too busy to write this, right?

3. I have nothing interesting to say. That may be true, but it’s never stopped me before. It might be more accurate to say that I have nothing to add to what’s already been said out there.

2. I’m sick of the “War on Christmas.” Well, yeah, there is that. It’s everywhere. No need to for me weigh in on this one. Although I have no problem with the Christmas issue. I understand the point. I wouldn’t want someone telling me I have to call my Menorah a “Holiday Candelabra.” I mean, why would you call it a “Holiday Tree?” What other holiday is it for? Arbor Day? And in my practice, I end up saying “Merry Christmas” a heck of a lot more often than “Happy Channuka.” No I don’t feel threatened by Christmas (despite last year’s tirade). As a practicing Orthodox Jew, I’m very secure in my Judaism. Personally, I don’t think of Channuka as something tacked on to Christmas. Channuka came first. If anything, I think the Christians tacked their holiday on to Channuka. If I’m upset about anything related to the “WOC”, it’s that Channuka is being equated to Kwanzaa.

1. So, the real reason I didn’t write about Channuka this year: I hate repeating myself. I realize that blogs are supposed to be timely. We write about things that go on as time goes by, and people check in to see “what’s new,” so there’s an expectation that we are going to write about things that occur during the Calendar. Like Toikey Day or Yom Kippur. So all the bloggers are writing about Christmas or Channuka or Kwanzaa or Boxing Day. But I HATE TO REPEAT MYSELF. I’m on my second annual blogging cycle right now, and that means that I’m on my second cycle of writing about all the holidays I wrote about last year. And it’s pretty clear to me now that I have NOTHING NEW OR OF ANY VALUE TO SAY ON THESE SUBJECTS.

So I think I’ll stop typing right about…..now


cruisin-mom said...

thanks for "nothing", P.T.
and by the way, Happy Holidays.

wanderer said...

I went back and read your tirade from last year, and of course can relate to much of it.

There seems to be a lot of blogging this year about the varied spellings of Hannukah. One of the things I noticed about your two tirades (the old and the new) is that somehow in the last year your spelling of said holiday has changed. Was this a conscious decision or did it just kinda happen?

Stacey said...

Well it's about time, PT, I've been waiting for your post!!

Seriously dude, really it is ok to repeat yourself every now and then. Maybe that ought to be your New Year's resolution.

That....or playing a gig in Texas!

PsychoToddler said...

Cruisin Mom: Happy Boxing day to you too.

Wanderer: You got me. I don't know how to spell Channukkahh. Also, the "chumbug" joke wouldn't have worked with "hannukah."

Stacey: The thing is, I think of my blog more like a book than a newspaper. You don't read these posts and then throw them in the trash. If you want to read what I wrote about XMas, click on the link to last year's post. I may be wrong in this, but that's how I look at it.

Now what's interesting is that you and many others who read this now weren't reading back then, so as NBC says, if you haven't seen it then it's new to you.

Doctor Bean said...

Yeah. I think I'm going to stop commenting when I have nothing to say. You know what I mean? 90% of the time I comment I just ramble incoherently about something that I might think is funny that is typically so remotely connected to the post that by the time I'm through I don't even remember what the topic was. But usually I'm so busy cracking myself up (about something sophomoric usually, like a fart joke) that I don't even realize that I've gone on and on for like 400 words and said absolutely nothing. Who needs that? (a) I have better things to do (b) the readers don’t read anything that long anyway (c) nobody thinks that a fart joke is really that funny. I mean it depends. It’s the details that really determine how funny it is. Like if it’s in an elevator or at a particularly socially inappropriate time, like a job interview, that’s a little funnier. Mentioning the word “pants” also makes things funny. David Letterman knows that. That’s why his company is “Worldwide Pants”. That’s a funny company name. Now, my four-year old, she’s no Letterman. She thinks any reference to bathrooms or rear-ends is hilarious in and of itself, without any set-up. She’ll just walk up to us and scream “booty!” and dissolve into giggles, and we’ll look at each other and think. “Booty” isn’t bad as a punch line, but there needs to be first a connection with the audience and a little back story to raise the tension a little and set the stage for the pay off. She, of course, doesn’t appreciate any of that and keeps giggling, because after all, she just screamed “booty”. This, after a while, is pretty funny, and we end up laughing also, which of course just encourages her.

Here’s a joke:

A skeleton walks into a bar. He says “Give me a beer and a mop.”

Ha! That one gets me every time. Happy Holidays!

PsychoToddler said...

They have medicine for that, you know.

cruisin-mom said...

farts in any context are funny.

Jack's Shack said...


You stole my joke.

Eshet Chayil said...

Note...I haven't posted anything about chanukah on my blog...lol

Neil said...

I never thought about the problems of the second blogging cycle. I'm now realizing that I'm using up all my holiday posts this year, leaving nothing for next year. So, I will avoid writing anything about President's Day in February, leaving that for 2007.

Kiwi the Geek said...

Even though I'm late to the game, I just feel the need to point out that Christmas has nothing whatever to do with Hannukah, not even as a tack-on. The Christians apparently bogarted Saturnalia and put a politically correct (for the time) veneer on it. Ironic that now, the secularists are trying to put a different politically correct veneer on it, and it's been morphing for centuries.

blueenclave said...

I think Dr. Karenga stole from us when he invented Kwanzaa. The Nguzo Saba (seven principles) are all things that can be part of the meaning of Hanukkah, and there is also the overriding theme of group cohesion and pride in uniqueness. And there is a candelabra of course. I wanted to tell the kid I mentor this, but I was in a public school at the time.

blueenclave said...

The kid does not celebrate Kwanzaa, but we have been doing some Kwanzaa-related activity for the last three years.