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Thursday, September 01, 2005

Going, going...

With all the hoopla surrounding Fudge's departure to New York, I almost overlooked the fact that two of my boys are also leaving for school this week. Today, Mrs. Balabusta took Larry up to the Yeshiva for the first time.


I sat with two happy/sad mothers from out of town, one from Minnesota and one from Massachusetts, as they discussed how they couldn't believe they were actually sending their kids away from home. I commiserated. I was in their shoes last year, when I sent Moe away. At least I thought I was.

I wasn't. Moe was back home within the week to do laundry and fire up the computer games. And he's never been away for more than a week at a time since. We are truely fortunate to have such a great boy's school available in town, and to have access to our sons.

But this year I am in their shoes. I can't believe I sent my daughter away from home.

11 comments:

fudge said...

i can't believe i left.

i can't believe i drive!

i think i'm gonna walk to a movie store and see if they have any old 'dr who' dvds i can get real cheap to cheer me up at night.

Ezzie said...

Funny. When I went to WITS, I almost never went home... Sukkos, Pesach, winter, summer. That's it. Oh yeah, Purim the first 3 years.
Mrs. Connelly came over to me after I'd been in WITS for 3 weeks. "Have you spoken to your parents recently?" "Ummm, no, why?" "Your mother called. You haven't called home since they left. They wanted to make sure you're still alive." "Oh." "Call home NOW!" "Um, right... sorry!?"

zahava said...

PT,
Looking down the road a few years and evaluating our options for the kids' educations was actually a BIG factor in choosing to make aliyah when we did. We had a fantastic day school going through 8th grade locally, but no local high school options. We would have been faced with either having our kids commute approximately four hours a day (almost 2 hours each way) or sending them to board somewhere.

We watched many families in our community struggle with the choices -- none of them are easy and all of them afford equal parts positives and drawbacks.... And SOOOO many concerns: quality of secular studies, hashkafa of the limudei kodesh studies, social crowd, tuition.... And due to the lack of local options we would have been facing these options while our kids would have been 14 and 13....

PsychoToddler said...

fudge: you're kidding, right? Anyway, that jerk at sundevildvd still hasn't refunded my money from that gungrave fiasco.

ezzie: aren't you from Cleveland? As an out of towner, I wouldn't have expected you to go home frequently. I also didn't expect to see my son so often. You can't underestimate the allure of free laundry and computer games.

As to complaints of boys not calling home, that was almost universal at the yesiva last night. Many of the Moms were complaining that they wouldn't be seeing their boys until after Yom Kippur, and that their sons still refused to sit with them at the goodbye dinner! Of course, Larry is a good boy, and sat with his old man.

But boys are like that. They don't like to call home.

Zahava: I understand you completely. Making aliyah is a good way to solve that issue, but I don't have to tell you that it's not an easy thing to do, and requires a 200% committment on the part of every family member, and if that's not there, then it won't happen.

New Yorkers in general don't understand the challenges of living out of the tri-state area. When you have 3 shuls, 2 pizza places, and a yeshiva on every block, the concept of having to send a child 900 miles away for schooling is totally alien.

I also struggle with the knowledge that most if not all of my kids will eventually move out of town, and raise families elsewhere (maybe even in Israel). It is difficult.

But there are many advantages to living in a smaller town. I very much appreciate Midwestern values, and I have no problem saying that when I met my wife, a native Milwaukeean, she blew away by far any of the NY girls that I had dated up until then. And I'm happy to be raising kids with similar characters.

MC Aryeh said...

Just curious: Did knowing you would have to send your kids away for school enter the cheshbon at all when you made the decision to move to Milwaukee? or was that something too distant in the future to even think about?

PsychoToddler said...

MCA: We moved to Milwaukee initially for residency, a three year tour, a three year tour...

we stayed for a variety of reasons, mostly involving momentum and family.

The school issue has weighed on my mind for many years, but it is not unique to Milwaukee. It is an issue any place out of NYC. Maybe in Chicago you can keep your kids in yeshiva through college but there are few places like YU around. We didn't want to move back to NY, so moving somewhere else didn't seem to be worthwhile. Aliya is interesting but financially not an option right now, and as I've said requires a level of fanatical enthusiasm from everyone involved or it won't work.

Ezzie said...

Yes, I'm from Cleveland originally (ugh)...
Dunno if you noticed - commented on your Happy/Sad post. Offer is real.

Ezzie said...

By the way, (no time!) my brother says you're a great drummer; and kids being sent away for school is [almost] always a positive experience. Good shabbos!

Shira Salamone said...

I just caught myself checking Our Favorite Physics Major's bedroom to see whether he was awake yet. Uh, duh, you just took him back to college, remember? This place gets awfully quiet when he's not here. We're getting a sneak preview of the more permanent version of Empty Nest Syndrome, which will hit us officially when he graduates in two more years.

Anonymous said...

Tell Fudge that the first shabbos in is always WAAAAAAAAAy overhyped and is usually stinky. It's the smaller shabbosim with fun scholar-in-residences or yeshiva/seminary shabbatons that are more intimate and way more fun. Everybody is already inviting u for shabbos so im sure ull have places to go but join Yachad and other chessed activities, it'll introduce u to the frummer girls from stern( and the frummer guys:)) Hatzlachoh in ur settling in. Brad

Anonymous said...

Tell fudge she better stay in this shabbos. there is a yachad shabbaton in stern and if her roomates r around and she points em out ill be glad to punch them in the mouth for her. She should contemplate switching rooms as well. Brad