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Monday, August 01, 2005

Teen Girl on the Highway!

Today I took Fudge driving on the highway. There were no fatalities. There are some new grooves carved into the passenger-side dashboard by my fingers. I also taught her how to pump gas.

Important things we learned today:

When changing lanes at 50 MPH, it is neither necessary nor desirable to try to get to a 90 degree angle.

It is important to make sure another car is not attempting to pass you at 65 MPH on the right before you move into the right lane.

You should try to shake the fuel pump a little before taking it out of the car. (Boys have an easier time figuring this out for some reason).

In honor of our safe return to the garage, here is a link to TEEN GIRLS SQUAD!

19 comments:

Shira Salamone said...

"Strong bad." Sigh. I guess I'm just too antique for this stuff.

Speaking of age, or, in this case, a certain lack thereof, it seems to me that one has to be at least 17 to drive in New York State. So get your practice in now, Fudge, because, if my memory serves me correctly--which, at my age, is always a good question--it'll be a while before you can drive while you're in school here.

JC said...

This is my second good blogging laugh today! What is it about your writing about cars and somehow it always ends up with pottie humor? Sorry, just thinking of the toilet seat. :)

Stacey said...

"When changing lanes at 50 MPH, it is neither necessary nor desirable to try to get to a 90 degree angle."

Bwahahaha. Sorry Fudge, but that is tooooooo funny.

PsychoToddler said...

Shira: She's not driving in NY. Period.

JC: With a name like "Psychotoddler," what were you expecting, Shakespeare?

Stacey: It's not funny if you're riding shotgun as the car goes perpendicular.

Jack's Shack said...

When we reach that point in my house I plan on being heavily drugged. It scares me, oy.

PsychoToddler said...

I forgot to mention: After the cartoon, make sure to click on the 'o' in 'over' for some geeky goodness.

Steg (dos iz nit der šteg) said...

It's too late now, but when my father taught me to drive, he wouldn't let me on the highway until i passed my road test. Right after my road test, we headed out on the scenic highways of NYC and i learned how to keep the car heading straight while looking back at my blindspot. That took some time. :-P

But what a rush! (or at least "OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!")

So what's the verdict on Fudge's driving? SO GOOD or NO GOOD?

PsychoToddler said...

Grood

fudge said...

ha HA! first and foremost, let me say that it is no easy thing to 'gently glide over', especially when it makes no logical sense that a 1/60" touch of the wheel will see you safely into the next lane. to me, that's like saying, "when you're in the deep end of the pool, just wiggle your toes a little. that oughta keep you afloat."

secondly, we're going to target now. so i guess i'll finish my defnese later.

Stacey said...

"It's not funny if you're riding shotgun as the car goes perpendicular."

LMAO!! You are killing me.

fudge said...

and we're back! now where was i? oh yeah. actually shira, as long as i have a license, i can drive there. asked my instructor. admittedly, i cant think of anyone who would be kind (hint: stupid) enough to lend me their car in ny, but starting january i could technically pull it off.

abba: after all that, grooves was the best you could come up with?

Anonymous said...

Fudge--Even a NY State license won't let you drive in the City until you're 18. Only place in the country like that.

torontopearl said...

Mark, I was en route home from work today turning the radio dial with one hand, holding the steering wheel with the other. The song "She Drives Me Crazy" came on the radio and I automatically thought of you and Fudge and your driving expeditions.
See how blogging -- reading and writing -- can "merge" into real, everyday life?!

PsychoToddler said...

Such Fine Young Cannibals...

torontopearl said...

Thanks for saying who sang it; I absolutely couldn't remember their name, just knew they're a Brit group...or at least, thought they are.

Next time you're driving with my namesake, play (Canadian singer) Tom Cochrane's "Life is a Highway" at full blast; that ought to get her moving at the speed of sound.

PsychoToddler said...

Actually "Born to be Wild" comes to mind.

Bad Maria said...

Reminds me of my first driving test in ND - he said "take a right here" so I did. Without looking to see whether a car was coming at me (it was) or whether there was a pedestrian in the crosswalk (there was). Needless to say I FLUNKED! Oddly enough 2 weeks later my license certificate came in the mail and I went to get my picture taken. I think he accidentally put it in the "pass" pile. So folks, I now live in L.A. having never passed a driver's test. I'm sure I'm not the only one on these freeways.

Wickwire said...

The driving test, theres something to blog about someday. Mine was a tall man with black mirror sunglasses and a buzz cut. He said, "When I say stop, I want you to stop as quickly but as gently as possible." What seemed like five minutes later he finally said, "STOP!" I slammed on the brakes, he flew forward, the clip board flew to the dash and his glasses slipped down his nose. Like and idiot I asked, "was that too fast?" He grabbed his clip board, pushed his sunglasses back up his nose and said, "when you get to the stop sign, take a right." I can't believe I passed.

PsychoToddler said...

Wick, if I were drinking coffee just now it would have shot out my nose.

So I guess I have no excuse.