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Tuesday, May 31, 2005

The Bat-Utility Belt

I'm this close to ordering a PDA. There's really no excuse for me not to have one by now. I'm horribly disorganized. I have contacts littered across 3 different computers in two different locations. I have business cards on my nightstand, dresser, my wife's dresser, my son's dresser, in kitchen drawers, stuffed in my George Costanza-sized wallet, and in 3 of my desk drawers at work. I have separate secular and Jewish Calendars hanging from my wall in my office (one covering the other), and I usually miss important meetings because I never bother to look at either. I've always been gadget oriented and technically saavy, so you'd think that by now I'd have one. My wife has a Dell Axim and she loves it. She runs her Jewish Aerobics class off of the MP3's she has stored on it.

There's only one thing that's keeping me from ordering one. The Bat-Utility Belt (BUB). I don't think I can put one more thing on it. Take yesterday, for example. Yesterday, I had my cell phone, my pager, and my digital camera on my BUB. But I also had a heavy key-ring in my right pocket, which has not only my house and garage keys, but also my car keys, my wife's car keys, her remote alarm key, and the remote garage opener (net weight: 2.5 lbs). Add to all that my previously mentioned George Costanza wallet (containing movie stubs from the last 3 movies I've seen and a healthy collection of guitar picks), and it's a miracle of science that my pants don't fall down.

So I can be forgiven for a certain degree of trepidation when contemplating the addition of yet one more device. This may be the straw that breaks the proverbial camel's back, or the block that destroys the proverbial Jenga stack, or the tap that breaks the don't-break-the-ice, or...well you get the picture.

You think they make a PDA with built in shark-repellant?

3 comments:

PsychoToddler said...

Not that it's any of my business, but why do you carry the camera? Also, if you're going to get a PDA, maybe you should consider a shoulder bag, you know, those back-saver ergonomically designed (non-faggy, really!) things. Then you'd have room for your major key chain (the minor one, with your keys for car, office and home would still go in your pocket), your electronics, a binder thing for cards it wouldn't kill you to lose (the real stuff, like credit cards and drivers' license still go in a pocket)and your lunch. Just a thought!
tuesdaywishes | 05.31.05 - 9:32 pm | #

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I need to poll you regarding the paraphernalia you shlep around. Tell me, PT, when you're invited to a non-Shabbos simcha, usually an evening affair, do you haul around all those keys, too?
Or are you like my hubby, who gives ME his weighted down keychain (house keys, work keys, car keys for his and my vehicle, mailbox keys, mother's house keys, mother's mailbox keys, etc.) to put into my little evening bag? Actually his big key chain has smaller key chains that detach easily, and so he splits up his keys, but I'm still "forced" to find some room in my bag amidst my simcha essentials to house his car and house keys, which are rather bulky.
Maybe I should just get him and you a personal butler to tag after you men and hold everything for you that needs holding. (no jokes allowed on that last comment!)
Pearl | Homepage | 05.31.05 - 9:46 pm | #

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So, why a separate pager? A cell phone should be able to provide that function. Also, why not a combo phone PDA gadget? Bonus: high geek factor.
JoeCool | 05.31.05 - 10:32 pm | #

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Holy obsolescence, Batman!

Get a friggin Treo, then get rid of the phone and pager, and the utility belt will be one lighter. Then, if you don't mind using the Treo camera, you can leave your camera at home and use it only when you want really nice pictures, then you're down 2 things.

Then, let your wife go through your wallet and throw things away indiscriminantly. You'll thank me.
Doctor Bean | Homepage | 06.01.05 - 12:58 am | #

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You know you may want to consider
some adderall with that PDA.
shloimy | Homepage | 06.01.05 - 9:09 am | #

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I second the Treo. I'm on my way to getting one after seeing my Rabbi carry one around. Geekdom, here I come!
Anonymous ben Kalonymous | 06.01.05 - 9:11 am | #

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Re: Treo--my phone company doesn't offer them yet, and I have really good rates right now. It was a high consideration though.

JoeCool: I need the pager for work. The cell phone is not reliable enough for that purpose. Also, I get so many friggen pages (sometimes 2 or 3 at once) that it's nice to have a queue that I can get to at a more relaxed pace. I hate it when the phone starts ringing when I am...indisposed.

Pearl: I never leave a key behind. I'm such a creature of habit, that I know that if I detach a key that I may one day need, it will undoubtably be sitting on my nightstand that one time that I need it.

Tuesday: I don't usually carry around a camera, but the other day I was at the zoo. My wife brought me this absolutely dorky looking mini-backpack that clips onto my belt for the camera. Although dorky is a relative term when there's already two other things clipped there.

And I am NOT wearing a purse!

Bean: As far as letting my wife go through my wallet...did you ever see the Jetsons?
psychotoddler | Homepage | 06.01.05 - 10:08 am | #

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Doesn't have to be a Treo, really, can even be a cell phone with smartphone technology, if you don't mind the lack of the QWERTY keyboard.
Greg T | 06.01.05 - 10:11 am | #

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I like the stylus.
psychotoddler | Homepage | 06.01.05 - 11:24 am | #

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Man purse. This post reminded me of my "X" He works at Microsoft, so he had the "BUB" too. I kind of felt sorry for him because he depended on his PDA too much. He needed it for the simplest of questions. Microsoft is inventing new gadgets all the time, I wonder how much he's packing now? Anyway, when we first saw this with "X" we gave him a bad time and we used up all our jokes then got used to it. Just don't depend on the PDA for the simplest of things, it can be annoying.
Wickwire | Homepage | 06.01.05 - 12:16 pm | #

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Saw the Jetsons. Must have missed the episode where Judy goes through George's wallet, though. I assume madcap hillarity ensued when she found his condoms.
Doctor Bean | Homepage | 06.01.05 - 1:05 pm | #

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Check the opening credits. "Jane--his wife (snatch)"
psychotoddler | Homepage | 06.01.05 - 1:12 pm | #

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Time for a Blackberry. It has organizer, pager, full e-mail and cell phone all wrapped up in one. My work is supposed to supply me with one soon.
brettdl | Homepage | 06.01.05 - 3:12 pm | #

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Jane his what? Watch your language!
Doctor Bean | Homepage | 06.01.05 - 7:12 pm | #

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It's not enough I have to carry the checkbook and the membership cards and the Epi-Pen and countless other stuff....

Beanie Baby - You want to go through that wallet - fine- I recommend universal precautions though.

The camera bag looks like a teeny backpack for your belt, It's cute, and that's final.

Lastly, all those combo devices do many things moderately well, but nothing really well. For example, you can't beat a pager for handling pages and you can't beat a camera for taking pictures. I could go on, but I will let you extrapolate the rest. I could use a shoe to hammer a nail, but why would I want to?

I just think its remarkable that his pants have stayed up this long. Of course, we may one day be walking through Niagra Falls (Gd willing) when down they go, and some poor shmoe behind us turns to his wife and says - You see, this is why I wouldn't put your lipstick in my pocket.
altered mental status | Homepage | 06.01.05 - 11:13 pm | #

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LOL
Shira Salamone | Homepage | 06.02.05 - 12:52 am | #

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I could use a shoe to hammer a nail, but why would I want to?


Now if I could use a shoe as a phone, that might be worth something...
psychotoddler | Homepage | 06.02.05 - 11:27 am | #

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AMS: Very funny. And you can call me Beanie Baby any time!
Doctor Bean | Homepage | 06.02.05 - 3:06 pm | #

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If you're really worried about losing your trousers, you could try SUSPENDERS! (Watches for PT to back away screaming and wailing)
tuesdaywishes | 06.02.05 - 9:11 pm | #

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Just to thicken the plot a little, a patient came in today sporting a Kyocera 7135 smartphone. He told me he likes it better than his old treo. Yes we wasted half the visit while I forced him to show me his phone.

But as a consolation I skipped his rectal exam.
psychotoddler | Homepage | 06.03.05 - 4:51 pm | #

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I have an old, old school Palm -- no 'net or e-mail on it, I'm old-fashioned and I love it. I can close my wallet now because I can throw away all receipts not work-related immediately after putting them in my check register. Since mine is one of the older ones, though, it doesn't go on a belt...just in the front pocket of the pants.
parcequilfaut | Homepage | 06.06.05 - 6:13 pm | #

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hey! i'm commenting from my new dell axim ppc. i'm getting a cramp in my hand and neck
psychotoddler | Homepage | 06.10.05 - 6:36 pm | #

justin667 said...

Sounds like you could use a Happy cow belt... plenty of space for storing all your valuables whilst on the go. www.happycow.com.au

s(b.) said...

palm centro! :)