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Thursday, April 07, 2005

It's hard to describe this crap

If you're having difficulty describing your crap, might I suggest this handy little chart that a drug rep handed me today.

I tried to give it back to her, telling her that it was the most disgusting thing anyone had ever handed me, but then I thought it might be good for a few laughs.

My partner thought the same, since he came running into my office waving his chart around in the air.

2 comments:

PsychoToddler said...

Psycho, that is the grossest thing I've seen on any blog so far in my short time here. Uch, you think JIB has an award for grossest link?
Chaim | Homepage | 04.07.05 - 3:42 pm | #

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Be thankful I didn't put it as an in-line photo.
psychotoddler | Homepage | 04.07.05 - 3:57 pm | #

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Holy crap, psychotoddler. That's repulsive!

immediate questions leap to mind:

a) what the heck kind of drug was this rep pushing? Metamucil? Immodium? Pepto bismol?

b) Who would use that with a patient to get that specific description? Since when was that necessary for a diagnosis? There are 7 different types of crap on that chart! (That's 3 bits of information, for you computer science geeks.) Is there a major therapeutic difference between 2 and 3?

c) There's no (c). I just wanted to type crap one more time.
Doctor Bean | Homepage | 04.07.05 - 5:39 pm | #

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Love it sooooo much
AMSHINOVER | Homepage | 04.07.05 - 5:47 pm | #

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a) Zelnorm

b) There's crap and then there's crap

c) It's funnier if you say cwap

4) I find it to be funny when you confuse number and letter lists

Y) This is from "Mr. Mom"
psychotoddler | Homepage | 04.07.05 - 5:50 pm | #

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Hey now, for those of us with IBS this is kind of interesting. Why doesn't Zelnorm work on men, those bastards.
Jack | Homepage | 04.07.05 - 6:37 pm | #

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How come I dont get good stuff like that? Time to switch specialties
dilbert | Homepage | 04.07.05 - 9:39 pm | #

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EEUUWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!

Even moms don't need this much information!
tuesdaywishes | 04.07.05 - 10:05 pm | #

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Oy.
Michelle | Homepage | 04.07.05 - 10:46 pm | #

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dilbert: I thought you and psychotoddler were both general internal medicine, like me, no?
Doctor Bean | Homepage | 04.08.05 - 1:37 am | #

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This is so disgusting, it's downright beautiful. I think my dung beetle (see the icon on my blog) will relate to it. Thanks.
Irina | Homepage | 04.08.05 - 9:33 am | #

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I have to say that the picture I linked to is pretty tame. The one they handed out is more realistic and disturbingly food-like. I'll never look at braided challah the same way again.
psychotoddler | Homepage | 04.08.05 - 9:40 am | #

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Can you imagine your other half coming out of the little boys' room or little girls' room and saying, "Wow, I just made #2, and it was something of a Type 5...or was it actually a Type 4? Now I'm not sure. Honey, hand me that chart again...!"
Pearl | Homepage | 04.08.05 - 10:23 am | #

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I hate to say it, but when the little psychotoddler goes, it's a family event. I have to be called into the bathroom to inspect her work, then clap and say "Hurray!" Then wipe her little butt.

And then when I'm 80, she can do the same for me, I guess.
psychotoddler | Homepage | 04.08.05 - 10:25 am | #

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Jack:

Zelnorm works for men. Shh...don't tell the FDA I said so.
psychotoddler | Homepage | 04.08.05 - 1:20 pm | #

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Ah, thanks for the tip.
Jack | Homepage | 04.08.05 - 1:30 pm | #

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Actually the FDA just approved Zelnorm for men.
Stacey | Homepage | 04.08.05 - 6:28 pm | #

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I'm like you. I couldn't post the chart as an in-line photo. Inland Empress is a little less shy about such things (the presence of a young boy in the house probably does that to you).

This chart has already come in handy. When quoting from another source, I had to replace one of the original words in the quote with the euphemism "Type 4."

I still haven't had a chance to work "long transit" or "short transit" into a post, though.

bristolscaleforstoolform
Ontario Emperor | Homepage | 04.15.05 - 4:49 pm | #

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BTW both the Emperor and Empress have noted that I linked to a picture on a different site. That's just laziness on my account. I could have taken the thing home and scanned and posted it, but I just did a search for the bristol stool scale and linked to the clearest picture I could find.

But the other guy's post is funny too.
psychotoddler | Homepage | 04.15.05 - 5:53 pm | #

Jen Taylor Friedman said...

I'm procrastinating and reading old posts - my household has that chart! It is laminated and stuck in the bathroom, mostly to give visitors a surprise.

Back in the days of having housemates, I used to stick a pencil and pad next to the toilet and kid newbies that we all kept a tally so as to determine who paid how much for toilet paper.